My marriage… With Olasunkanmi Cicero

How did you meet your wife?

I met my wife, Bunmi, during my NYSC days in Kwali town, Abuja. It was not love at first sight because it was late in the evening. Her mum had been very benevolent to me, and since we had a corps members’ lodge, she would always ask one of her daughters to bring food for me.

So, on January 4, 2015, which was a Sunday, a fellow corps member returned from Ibadan with something for Bunmi’s mum and asked me to accompany him to present it to her. On getting there, I saw this beautiful girl, and immediately her mum said, “This is my daughter, Bunmi,” adding that she didn’t live there. That was how I met her. Even when I jokingly said, “Will you marry me?” she confidently said, “No.” But today, the rest is a happy history.

What attracted you to her after the first meeting?

Her sense of responsibility. I gave her my number, but she refused to call me. I then urged Bunmi’s younger sister to bring her to the lodge whenever she was around.

So, on May 14, which was my birthday, Bunmi brought a cake she had baked herself and a N750 recharge card to the lodge. She happened to be the first lady to celebrate me on my birthday. That sense of responsibility was a big attraction for me.

How did you propose to her?

I proposed to her in Lagos in 2016 when she came for my mum’s 60th birthday. I bought the ring at Anthony Bridge, and when we got home, I proposed to her—to her delight.

What was your most memorable moment during your wedding?

It was the joy of seeing people I cherished from childhood, who all came out to celebrate with me. NYSC Kwali also sent corps members in their full khaki to honour the occasion. It was very memorable for me.

What lessons has marriage taught you?

It has taught me calmness, listening, and advanced forgiveness. Calmness helps us resolve recurring challenges. Listening gives you the full picture of issues to address, and advanced forgiveness helps you overcome errors, which in turn reduces conflict.

How do you give your family special treats?

I show my wife special care by handling her clothing needs, I shop for all her clothes, and since we got married, she hasn’t had to buy any herself. I also make it a point to take my family out to restaurants on special weekends.

What advice would you give youths planning to marry?

Youths should gain a proper understanding of marriage. Marriage is part of life’s programme, just like other pursuits. It’s not all about love but also about understanding. Once that understanding is in place, every other thing can follow.