VIDEO: Stop using God’s name to woo women, Tonto Dikeh tells Christian men

Actress and evangelist Tonto Dikeh has called on Christian men to stop using spiritual claims as their main way of approaching women for marriage, saying real relationships need effort, respect and responsibility.

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Speaking in a video shared on her Instagram page, the Nollywood star said some men depend too much on statements like “God told me you are my wife” instead of putting in the time and effort to build meaningful relationships.

Starting the conversation on a light note, Dikeh said the topic might sound funny, but it was important.

“This is a very funny topic, but it is one that we actually need to discuss. So, if you are a brother in the Lord, come forward; this is for you.”

She criticised what she described as the growing habit of low effort among some Christian men during courtship, saying women in church deserve the same care and attention as everyone else.

“Why do church brothers think church sisters don’t require gifts? What about this low-effort thing you put into wooing or pursuing a woman? Church brothers would say, ‘God sent me to you,’ and blah, blah.

“God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God’s character. Saying, ‘God told me you are my wife,’ is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort.”

Dikeh backed her point with biblical examples, saying the scriptures show that marriage requires deliberate action and not passive waiting.

Quoting Proverbs 18:22, she said finding a wife takes effort and intention.

“True pursuit requires investment. The passive ‘God will see us through’ mindset contradicts the Scriptures. Proverbs says, ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing.’ Finding requires active, intentional effort.”

She also mentioned the story of Abraham’s servant in Genesis 24, saying he came prepared with gifts while looking for a wife for Isaac.

“He didn’t just show up with a prophecy. He came with camels loaded with gold, silver and precious gifts. I didn’t write the Bible.”

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Using another example, Dikeh pointed to Boaz and Ruth, saying Boaz showed care, provision and responsibility instead of relying only on spiritual words.

“When Boaz wanted to marry Ruth, he didn’t corner her with a vision. He protected her, provided for her, spoke kindly to her and legally stepped into his responsibilities.”

According to her, if someone believes God has confirmed a relationship, it should lead to maturity and accountability, not replace honest communication.

She added that the Song of Solomon shows that romance, affection and honour are important parts of Christian relationships.

“A woman of God deserves to be cherished, respected and treated with excellence. Spiritual maturity should elevate your standards, not lower them.”

Dikeh ended by urging Christian men to stop hiding behind spiritual catchphrases and make real efforts in relationships.

“Step up. Plan that date. Don’t keep saying, ‘God said,’ because God speaks to women too.”

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